Explicitly detail how to deal with printers when you provide image files to your dad.

Eating a big breakfast is a surefire way to guarantee sloth for the rest of the day.

(Photo by Gregory Clifford Denton)

Jared’s intern and a friend of his came over for dinner on Thursday night and we had a great time. I made a pound of angel hair pasta and a pound of scallops, along with some garlic bread and it wasn’t quite enough to stuff the younger guys. I’ll have to remember next time that teenage boys eat a LOT more than a 25 year old man on a weight-loss bender.

I rinsed the scallops with cold water to thaw them, salted both sides, and rinsed them again after 10 mintues. The salt had pulled out a bunch of water. I think this is a more important step if you get “wet scallops” than if you get “dry” but I’m still glad I did it. I also dried the scallops with a paper towel before I tossed them in the frying pan.

As an aside, while I was preparing the yummy scallops, I also washed, sliced, salted, left for 15 minutes, rinsed, and dried two very large zucchini, and tossed them in a deep, covered pan with pre-heated olive oil and garlic.  I ended up turning the burner off instead of turning it up (which is pretty much the last step) and only noticed they they had not cooked AT ALL as I was getting ready to serve them.  Don’t be like me. I’m still mad about the loss of veggie.

Back to the scallops:

Before they went in the pan, I started out with a stick of butter, two cloves of garlic pressed in, and the zest from a lemon. When that was heated nicely, I dumped in arrange the scallops neatly and LEFT THEM ALONE for about 5 minutes. Leaving something alone in a pan that is sizzling is VERY HARD for me. It’s also VERY important to do in order  get a nice “sear” “carmelization” or “yummy brown crust” on anything from scallops to onions to hash browns.

I turned the scallops over after 5 minutes, and right then I should have turned the heat down. I didn’t, but they still turned out ok. I LEFT THEM ALONE for another 3 mintues or so, just to get done on the other side, (who needs carmelization on more than one side, anyway, it’s just for looking at, right? Kinda. Anyways.

I put the pound of (cooked, drained) angel hair pasta in a big bowl, arranged my scallops on top, and it was pretty just like that! You relaly do need sauce with pasta though.

So, I just added another stick of butter and the juice of the lemon I had just zested to the scallop cooking pan. You can take the pan off the heat to do this, you just want to melt the butter, you don’t need to cook it any more. Scrape up all the yummies from the bottom of the pan (unless they look absolutely black, they will be delicious. If they are really, really black you can just avoid the scraping part, and swirl the lemon juice and butter around on top ouf your burned mess)  and pour the whole delicious buttery goodness over the pasta and scallops. I took a bunch of chopped up fresh basil  and sprinkled it on the top, then shredded some parmeson over the whole bowl.

Oh, it was good. I don’t have any pictures, you’ll just have to take my word for it until you make it yourself.

If you’re worried about the flavor of the scallops you don’t need to be, they were so lemony and buttery. I’m sure you could make this same recipe with chicken though, if you have picky family members.

PS: Don’t forget to make sure all of your burners are on, or you won’t have any veggies.

Apropos (app-roe-poe): with regard to what we’re talking about.

Apropos of nothing (app-roe-poe uf nu-th-eeng): off the topic.

So there’s your (my) lesson for the day.

Apropos of nothing, when we were younger, a lot of people mistook my little sister for a boy. (Love ya Cassie.)

That’s on top of “sit”, “stay”, “lay down”, and “take it gentle.”

We’re still working on “get your big hairy black butt out from in front of the refrigerator.”

Jared knows that one though.

It was the yum.

Photo Courtesy of I Love Verdi

This is what fennel looks like at the store. One fennel bulb and one medium onion will make plenty for 4 servings as a side.

1 Sweet onion
1 Head of fennel (Not a scary vegetable, I promise!!!)
1 Small package of raspberries
1(ish) Tablespoon of pink peppercorn (yummy and delicious, find them at Meijer Cascade in the Sue Chef spice rack, Penzey’s, or Fresh Market. They’re actually a berry.)
Extra virgin olive oil
Balsamic vinegar

Slice the onion and fennel into long(ish) strips and put in your salad bowl. Just do the fennel like you would the onion, cut off the bottom root part and the top stalks and slice. It’s got layers.

Drop in the raspberries

Roughly chop the pink peppercorn and sprinkle them over the fresh ingredients (it’s easier if you smush them first with the side of your knife, just turn your knife parallel to the cutting board and push it down on the pink peppercorn, careful though!)

Lightly coat with the extra virgin olive oil and toss (I always use my hands)

Drizzle with a little balsamic vinegar (save this step until you’re ready to serve)

I had been on some form of hormonal birth control since I was 16. The pill was my best friend, even when I had a little trouble remembering to take it. It got me though flings, friends, not-boyfriends, boyfriends, and yes, I even was on the pill when I got married. It was baby-free bliss. I never had a pregnancy scare, not once, in my 10 years of getting laid. I was comfortable, I was care free, I was everything the tampon commercials wanted me to believe I could be. (I even wasn’t getting my period. It’s a miracle!)

Then I decided to try the shot.

First off, I don’t like shots. I don’t really know what I was thinking when it comes to this point. I turn into a shaky, weak-kneed wuss the second I see a nurse aiming a syringe at me.

(Well, maybe I couldn’t SEE her eyeing the bulls-eye on my ass, but I knew she was there.)

I had had it so good.

• I had been blessed with blemish free skin.
• I had never had breakthrough bleeding (even after switching to the continuous kind of pill)
• I never knew what girls were talking about when they said “I don’t like this or that birth control.”

I got the shot in December, and after having a total body-wide system freakout finally got my first “real” period (not just the random spotting I had for the 3 weeks after I GOT the damn shot) in July, and now I’m on the second one.

And I’m grumpy about it.

I think I’m going back to Seasonale.

PS, if you need to figure out your birth control, I’m not trying to dissuade you from trying the shot. I do know people that love it. I wish it had worked out for me!

“Shit, that guy has a shiv!”

Someone even devoted a design post to the shiv, in case you pictured them wrong.

I always thought of

and didn’t think about the fact that they wouldn’t be shiny and silver, and prisoners probably don’t have unlimited access to surgical instruments.